Have You Ever Been So Mad You Taught Yourself Calculus?

Teach Yourself Calculus

Ever wish you could teach yourself calculus?

I have… and I did…

Of course, I don’t remember any of it now, but that’s besides the point.

We’ve talked about the power of rage in the past, and rage is exactly what I used to teach myself calculus.

Back during college, I had a tutor for honors calculus.

You see, math isn’t my strong suit and that’s okay.

My professor had such a thick Appalachian accent I could barely understand him. He was a very nice guy, but that long drawl was completely different from what I was used to in the South.

So I got my buddy’s girlfriend to tutor me since she was in the same class.

I started understanding things a bit better, but was still mostly lost without any references.

Flash forward to Halloween of that year.

I was a sophomore in the honors dorm, and most of my free time was spent partying or drinking with friends and our girlfriends.

It was your typical college dynamic…

A group of guys that knew each other that dated a group of girls that knew each other. Most of us dormed together.

So that Halloween me and my friends were ready to go out to a party.

We were pregaming in my dorm room, drinking beer and playing Halo.

It was already 10 PM, and the girls had been getting ready for nearly two hours now. We couldn’t leave until they were ready since we were their escorts across campus and up frat row.

After some of the other guys had checked on why things were taking so long, I went across the hall to the room all the girls were getting ready in.

I knocked on the door and asked my girlfriend what was taking so long.

I was met by a screaming harpy pushing around the door behind her.

It was my tutor.

I can’t remember what she said to me, but she bit my head off and mentioned they would be ready when they were ready. Then she slammed the door in my face.

I turned, looked at my roommate standing next to me, and said, “OK” with a big smile on my face.

That was it…

#1 | We were their way into the party.

#2 | These girls were too scared to wander around frat row alone.

So fuck that.

I love pulling the nuclear option on a situation like this.

It does a damn good job at getting my point across…


My roommate and I went back to my room with the rest of the guys. I pulled open a bottle of vodka and poured us some drinks.

I wasn’t going out. Me and the boys were gonna stay right here, drink, and shoot some thirteen-year-olds online.

I was perfectly content to do that rather than walk a few miles in the rain just to dance around a bunch of sweaty frat brothers to Lil Wayne.

Of course, eventually the girls were ready and they came by our room.

You should have seen their faces. All of them huddled in the hallway outside our door. And then we tell them we’re not going…

They were pissed. Now they had to figure out their own plan and their own party. It ruined their night, and they spent most of it wandering around in the freezing rain.

Me? I was drunk and warm in the dorm playing team deathmatch with the boys.

Long story short, I said fuck you to my tutor and I stopped hanging out with that part of the group.

I wasn’t going to be spoken to like that.

My girlfriend ditched the group and started staying in my dorm room, and I stopped going around the harpy’s.

And most of all, I no longer asked for help in calculus.

Instead, I buckled down on my own. I looked up the answers to questions online, and reverse-engineered the solutions, breaking down the steps so I could understand them.

I was absolutely determined to understand what I was doing.

And then, the cherry on top…

At the end of the semester, I had an A.

My tutor? She had a C.

The bitch tutoring me got a C, and I’m pretty sure she was a math major

That’s what happens when someone says “fuck you” and means it.

I’m nice, until I’m not.

And once I’m not, I will do everything I can to come out on top.

I’ve been so mad before that I taught myself calculus.

I’ve been so mad that I started a successful business.

Use the things that anger you to your advantage. Don’t let them consume you… mold them with your will.

What I’m saying is you can do the things you think you can’t…

You can teach yourself calculus.

You can build a physique.

You can accomplish your goals.

Most of my math is adding up 45-pound plates in my head. If my math-illiterate ass can get an A in honors calculus, you can figure out whatever bullshit you’re dealing with.

Sometimes it just takes a little focused rage…

Get angry, and find a solution.

Nick Hagood
Demons & Destiny

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